You just don't see it

When you're living in the moment you just don't see how you really look.

In my high school/college years, I actually had major amounts of confidence issues because in my group of friends I was always "the chunky girl".  Somewhere along the line, I picked up enough confidence to believe I was adorable, and I went that route.  No sense in trying to put lipstick on a pig right?  I actively sought the "adorable" title instead of trying to win the "hot" or "beautiful" pageant. 

I look back now, and wish I could have really looked at myself for who I was.  Not comparing to who was 10 sizes smaller than me, because with my genetics and my body type I'm never going to be those girls.  Never.  I accept that now and just long to be healthy. 

That girl 8 years ago, was hot. 
...but I didn't see it.

She was thin and fit. 
...weighed 145, walked miles every day, and dancing every weekend.

She was vibrant and funny and happy and smart.
...Deans list every semester, graduated with honors.

So...Why didn't I see that then? 

It is a shame that we constantly berate ourselves trying to be someone else, when we just need to accept who we are.  You are YOU.  You can't change it.  You can't be sad about it.  You have to make the best of what you are given and see yourself for what you are.

...and by that I mean, you are whatever you WANT to be.
If you want to be HOT don't let yourself down by settling for "adorable". 
If you want to be adorable, hey! Rock that, too. 

Just don't sell yourself short, because life will pass you by then all you have to look back on is the missed opportunities to be a better you.

Yum

 

Microwave Omelet Taco

2 Egg Whites

Any chopped veggies

*Frozen chopped spinach, peppers, mushrooms, onions are my favorites.

1 slice of Fat Free Turkey

1 Small Corn Tortilla

1 slice Fat Free Cheese

Salsa

Olive Oil Cooking Spray

Spray a glass bowl with cooking spray (I use cereal bowls) and scramble the two egg whites in the bowl. Make sure you scramble the eggs really well or they will BLOW up out of the bowl.  

Add your chopped veggies and chopped Turkey, scramble with the eggs.  

Place in the microwave for 1 minute (if any egg liquid is left add an extra 30 seconds).  

Meanwhile, spray a small skillet with the cooking spray and heat the tortilla until desired texture. 

Slide egg omelet from the bowl onto the tortilla, add cheese and salsa. Fold and eat.

BOOM.  It takes maybe 5 minutes total to get everything out, mixed up, heated up, and put together.  This keeps me full from breakfast to lunch.  And trust me, that's a tricky thing to accomplish :)

Apple Body Jeans, Boots with the Fur

Slowly, but surely. 
Slowly, but surely.

I have been super enthusiastic about staying on track, and not sweating the small stuff (like having mcd's for dinner last night!)  I took a note from Dr. Oz.  I watched his show about body types and what they have to do with how you metabolize your food.  It was very interesting to see why I fail so often when I try so hard.

Apple Body Type
What does an apple look like? Apples have a tendency to put on belly fat, may have round faces, have humps on their upper backs and may have thin legs. (**This is SOOOO me**)
According to Dr. Morrison, traditional methods of weight loss like cutting calories and aggressive exercise routines do not work for this body type. Why? A low-calorie diet and too much exercise translate as starvation and stress to this body type, which can increase the production of cortisol, the stress hormone. Increased amounts of cortisol can slow metabolism and is known to contribute to belly fat and an increased waist size. Cortisol also floods the body with sugar. When your body does not use it for energy, it gets stored as fat. Belly fat is especially dangerous because it surrounds so many of your vital organs. Apples may also suffer a lot of inflammation or pain, particularly in the joints, back or neck. They are also at greater risk for high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes and breast cancer.
http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/better-metabolism-your-body-type

Since hearing those words, I have drastically changed my attitude towards my "diet".   
Because I can't diet.
I can't work out for an hour at a time. 

It leaves me hungry, grumpy, and stressed about why I am not making more progress.  This also means I don't count weight watchers "points" any more either.  Keeping track of numbers and math stressed me out as well. 

The more I stress, the more I pack on the pounds.
(this also explains why I gain back weight during the school year!)

This may explain why I have been able to slowly shed one pound at a time.  I feel more at ease and unpressurized to lose dramatic amounts of weight when I "diet" and exercise.

Check out the Dr. Oz link above and see your body type and what might work best for you.

a bright yellow ball

This is actually much more relaxing than it looks.  If you are struggling with lower back pain (*or even the lady cramps), this pose is mucho beneficial to relieving some of that pain.  You stay in this position for 5-10 minutes and just breathe.  Your thighs will be slightly sore from being stretched, but you will feel relief in those key areas.
I have participated in some light yoga this week(*this pose has been a go to) and I used my brand new, bright yellow, stability ball yesterday. 

Now, I know my dear husband thought I was crazy as I was sitting on the couch blowing up this ginormous ball with a hand operated pump. Mind you, I was blowing it up at 9pm.  But I wanted it to be ready for me yesterday morning.  I read an article about how to become a morning workout  person.  One of the tips was to mentally prepare yourself for what you wanted to do the next day.  Make a plan so you don't have to just "figure it out".  Because if you do that, you won't ever "figure it out".

Been there. 
Tried that. 

So Tuesday night, I blew up that beast and remembered I had this pinned up for just this very occasion:

 

Now, most of these are easy for beginners.  I did find myself struggling with #2 and #5.  So I also used the exercise chart that actually came with the ball.  I decided to do these exercises during the commercial breaks while watching the view.  I must say...I was a tad bit sore today.  

On an unrelated note, I had a quiet victory last night.  We went out for dinner---MEXICAN.  Where the chips are delicious and everything is covered in cheese.  I did devour the chips.  OOPS! But I wasn't even half way through my delicious chicken with peppers/onions/mushrooms when I WAS FULL.  I was literally in pain.  Couldn't eat another bite kind of full.  At first I was disappointed, because it was delicious and I wanted to eat it! Then I realized what that meant: I have begun to shrink that stomach where I don't need to eat as much at one time!  WOO-HOO!  A few months back, I could have licked that plate clean then gone out for ice cream.  I was pretty proud of me. 

...it's the little things in life.

Yoga--how hard can it be?

Last night I got seemingly bored, so instead of going to the fridge (*because that is totally where I was headed!)  I decided to try one of the yoga workouts I found on pinterest.  I had just gone to the chiropractor this afternoon for a routine crack-up and felt like I needed to stretch out.  So I tried this video:

The workout is only 10 minutes long.  So I figured I could keep up for that long.  Because I mean really, how hard can yoga be right? Stand here, squat there, breathe.

Yeah, I was kind of wrong. 

I'm not saying I was panting like a do or sweating puddles, but I was surprised at just how un-agile I actually am. At certain points I was actually glad she would say "inhale/exhale" because quite frankly, I was forgetting to breathe at all.  I was a little busy trying not to fall over.

Overall: I was sore in my legs by the time it was done.  My arms are sore today.  I felt like my body was stretched and I slept well last night.  I would rate this video as a success and will be adding it into my list of things I can do.

You should try it too. It's only 10 minutes, right?
For any more workout ideas or suggestions follow me on pinterest:  Dieting Drama Queen Inspirations
I only pin things that look like something a lazy girl might be interested in doing.  So if you're looking for something hardcore, you might need to browse someone else's boards. 

Waking up and feeling good :)

Today I was able to wake up and feel good. 
(It was a nice change from the bloated mess I have been lately.) 

I mean, have you ever just felt thinner? 
Like, your shorts are just loose enough, your shirt hugs the right way.  It was so nice that I actually felt excited to get on the scale.  It was good to get a positive response.  181.8. 

That's only a few ounces less than my last post about the numbers, but see...I may or may not have neglected to post about the weight GAIN I had recently participated in.  I teetered in the 184 range for a few days, so to be tracking and eating and losing is absolutely wonderful.

Now I am not delusional enough to think that I am not just one yogurt away from 182.
I get that.

However, getting to feel like I was able to get over that silly little bump in the road is a good way to start the day. Speaking of today, there is only 1 day of summer school left; and as of this morning I couldn't be more excited!  I can't wait to begin doing my early morning routine.

I also can't wait to begin cooking more.  In the summer I look forward to trying new recipes, and making things from scratch.  I really want to make homemade ketchup this summer, continue making my own salad dressings, and continue making delicious desserts from that wonderful book.  (*We had frozen peach cobbler squares last night and they were DELICIOUS)

I'm happy to be happy.
I'm happy to have something to look forward to.
I'm happy I to have the life I have to live.

Two Recipes and a RANT

Let's start with the RANT just so I can get this bad boy off my chest.

I have hit a wall.  The weight loss has come to a stand still, and daily I fight the number to come back down to 182 and stay there.  Each day is a different number varying from 182 up to 184.  STUPID.  It's just stupid.  Better choices should be made.  I'll work on that.

This is the last week of summer school, so I am excited to begin any type of "exercise" next week.  Beginning any type of regimen before school was out didn't seem like a killer idea to me (sounds like a great excuse, I know).  Seeing as how I am already exhausted, I decided to save any additional exhaustion and inability to move for a day when I don't have to keep up with tiny people who have way more energy than I do.

Okay.  That's out of the way now.  SO, here are two recipes.

HEALTHY Ranch Dressing

What you need?

1 container of greek yogurt

1/2 cup milk (or more depending on how think or runny you like)

1-2 Tbsp Ranch seasoning mix (or to taste)

Dump all the ingredients into the container you have chosen to keep your dressing in.  I found this water bottle at walmart and it's perfect for pouring with it's smaller opening at the top.

Shake it all up til you can see that all the yogurt has nicely blended with the milk (check for consistency and add more milk if too solid)

Refrigerate at least 1 hour before using to give it time to set up.


Boston Cream Pie Cupcakes
1 cupcake: 117 calories, 2.5g of fat, 22g carbs, 12 sugars, 2g protein, 0 fiber
What you need?
Cupcakes
1 3/4 cup Yellow Cake Mix
4 egg Whites
1/2 cup water
12 cup cake liners
 Pudding mixture
1 sugar free vanilla Pudding Pack
1/4 tsp vanilla
Frosting
3 Tbsp Chocolate Frostin
1 Tbsp Light Chocolate Syrup

Preheat Oven 350*
Wisk cupcake ingredients together, pour into cupcake liners.  Bake for 16-18 minutes

Mix together the frosting and syrup and place.  Refrigerate.
Mix together pudding ingredients.  Put into a zip lock bag, refrigerate.

After the cupcakes cool (at least 25 minutes), take a knife and make a small cut into each cupcake.  Use your ziplock pudding bag (cut one corner) and squeeze pudding mixture into cupcake.  There WILL be enough for all 12 cupcakes.  Put frosting onto cupcakes (there WILL be enough, I promise!)

***Recipe courtesy of Hungry Girl, 200 Desserts Under 200

Not Your Mom's Tuna Salad

What you will need:::

1 can Tuna (in Water)
1 tbsp Mayo w/ Olive Oil (or Fat Free Italian Dressing)
As many vegetables as you like!
Salt and Pepper to Taste
1 large cucumber








Drain Tuna.

Chop vegetables up thin--Do NOT chop and add cucumber.  I added tomatoes, carrots, celery, and onions.

Mix Together and add salt/pepper and mayo.

Your tuna salad should look colorful and delicious.  It will be crunchy and a little bit creamy.

NEXT, cut your cucumber length ways and scoop out the seeds.
Don't be wasteful! Either add the scooped out middle to your tuna or eat it straight from the cutting board :)


Scoop your tuna salad into your cucumber boats.

Eat and enjoy!

holding steady

So far I have been holding steady at the 182 mark.  I haven't particularly gone hardcore yet with stricter calorie guidelines at meals and snacks; but I have made solid effort to make good choices.  Clearly that's paying off (since I am officially keeping that weight off and not gaining back), but continued progress would be nice.

However, I can see my "fitness" journey beginning sometime in the next couple of weeks if my "kitchen" results are going to continue to just hold at the same number.  Pinterest has been my BFF as far as getting me motivated and educated on the types of workouts I would like to begin. 

I am considering dabbling in yoga.  There are tons of videos on youtube I can stream through my Wii console to follow along with. I tried yoga back in college, but perhaps I just wasn't in the right mindset for it.

 I am also interested in focusing on a few target areas of my body:
*my jiggle flab arms (seriously, you should see these things flap in action!)
*my extreme back fat area, not being harsh on myself just being real.
*my Buddha belly
*and strengthen my lower back area as I have some issues from time to time that force me to see a chiropractor.

I am more content with knowing that I have to begin some type of "workout" because I am able to click on my board and see a variety of things I can do that are quick, easy, and affordable (aka FREE because I have only pinned things that I can do from home with little to no equipment).  

And I feel as long as I am content, I won't dread it. 
IF I don't dread it, I won't stress about it.
and if I don't stress about it the whole world will be a much happier place.

"Skinny" Chicken Fried Rice

We had this for dinner last night.  You might not see it all, but it was full of vegetables!  I was able to eat my whole helping of it, without a single pound gained this morning.  There are versions out there that might help you out with "light" soy sauce, but I didn't have that so I used the regular soy sauce, and even added in some oyster sauce (*which turns out has been THE missing ingredient that I have needed to make good chinese food!)
6 COOKED cups BROWN rice (*the key to good fried rice is to have COOLED rice to mix in later)
2 Chicken Breasts--shredded(*I cooked mine in the crock pot!)
2 Tablespoons Soy Sauce
2 Tablespoons Oyster Sauce
**Mix the chicken and sauce ingredients together and set aside while you chop the other ingredients.
1/2 cup white oninon
1/4 green onion
3 garlic cloves
1 cup chopped celery
1 cup fresh mushrooms
1 cup chopped carrots
1 cup frozen peas
**Spray your pan.  Cook the vegetables and garlic together until the onions become translucent Stir constantly because garlic can burn very easily. Add in the chicken and 1/4 teaspoon of Crushed Red Pepper Flakes (optional, but we liked it!).  Push ingredients to the side and spray pan.  Scramble two eggs (*or egg whites) and mix through the chicken and vegetables.  Add in your rice and splash with more soy sauce to taste.

 My Chicken Fried Rice may have been close to this nutritional value.  The only thing that differed in the two recipes was the use of "light soy sauce".  So I probably had WAY more sodium due to not having a low sodium soy sauce and using some oyster sauce as well.
Servings: 6 – Amount Per Serving (approx. 2 cups per serving): Calories: 385; Total Fat: 11g; Total Carbs: 53g; Dietary Fiber: 3g; Protein: 17g; Sugar: 1
WW Points Plus: 10

 Nutritional Information Provided by http://skinnymom.com/2013/03/01/skinny-chicken-fried-rice/

Morning weigh in

And the morning total is:::::: 182.4

It hasn't been a pleasant experience to get to that number (i.e. stomach on the fritz)
...but beggars can't be choosers.  I will take the victory however I can get it.

That is exactly 10 pounds down since March.

Funny thing about March; you see I went to the doctor in March complaining of exhaustion and extreme fatigue.  I was too tired to cook, could care less about cleaning, and my whole body was just sore and tired.

His answer???  "You are a bit overweight."
my reply: "but I have been overweight almost my whole life, it's not like my body is having to adjust to the weight, it knows how to deal by now"

His answer??? "Well...you are getting OLDER."
My reply to myself::: "SUPER! Now I am not only fat, I am old.  At 28, I am OLD and FAT."

His suggestion was:
to work out for one hour, five days a week.
Cut out ALL sugar and carbs.
lose at least 10 pounds
He was confident that I would be feeling MUCH better.

yeah....about that...I still eat sugar and carbs.  I don't work out.  But I have lost that 10 pounds.
and guess what? I'm still fat and "old"

Imagine that :)

Today's confessional

Well, I have to admit this last week has been a neat little roller coaster.

This time last week, I was headed on a two day vacation to Memphis, TN with my husband and parents to see Graceland (for my momma) and head to the Memphis Zoo ( I LOVE ZOO's!).  And of course, when one visits Memphis, you have to eat some BBQ!

We visited one of Food Network's Top Ten places to eat BBQ in the nation!  I decided to go for their famous Pulled Pork Sandwich (that is topped with sauce and Coleslaw) with a side of potato salad.  I also ordered (*and attempted to share) a BBQ Bologna Sandwich.  The BBQ Bologna was featured on the show as one of their unique specialties.  It was definitely delicious. 


In my defense we did TONS of walking.  Barely sat down most of the time we were there! Between touring the museums of Graceland to walking around the zoo, I would say that we did a solid 5 miles of walking. 

On the way home, the tiredness of the trip started to settle in and so did the munchies.  Lucky for me I attempted to pack as healthy of snacks as possible.  Almonds, pumpkin seeds, beef jerky, 90 calorie granola bars...between my binge snacking and some other womanly "bloating" reasons, the scale shot up to 190 by Sunday night.  On Saturday morning, I was weighing in at 183.8.  BIG DISAPPOINTMENT.

So this week, I have been fighting back in the kitchen (*along with fighting a strange stomach virus).
Long story short....

TA-DA!

Not too shabby to drop 7 pounds of blah in a week. :)