weight watchers

although I have been watching my weight like a hawk, it hasn't been doing me any good. 

SO with much encouragement from those around me I have ordered a Weight Watchers starter kit. 

Here's to new hope.
...when the kit gets here.

...til then I am gonna EAT! =)

Wedding Weight

You say the word WEDDING and suddenly people switch into high gear dieting.  No one wants to be remembered as heavy in wedding photos.

I am so proud of the accomplishments of my family and friends.  My mom has lost 8 pounds since the announcement.  My Maid of Honor has lost 6.  My awesome Dad is also being conscious of what he is eating.  They are taking proactive steps for not only a healthier lifestyle but also to ensure that they look good and feel good for our big day.  That makes me feel special that they would care that much.

Then there is me.  Desperately wanting to lose weight and can't seem to shed a single pound. 
At times like these I would just like to sit down with a tub of frosting and cry.

We are having our engagement photos taken in roughly two weeks.  I don't want to look like a two ton tessie in the pictures, but at this point I am afraid I have no choice.  The weight refuses to leave my body. 

It's almost like my fat is rebelling against me, screaming "HECK NO! WE WON'T GO!"  

While the skinny girl inside of me is singing "GET OUT! LEAVE! RIGHT NOW! It's the end of you and me.  It's too late, I can't wait for you to be gone.  You said that you would treat me right, but you were just a waste of time."

I feel like my inner skinny girl is struggling and will abandon me soon. 
...and never be seen again.



 

1000

Did you know there is 1080 calories in a chicken ceasar salad at an Outback Steakhouse restaurant?

Did you know that a Grilled Chicken Sandwich, medium fries, and a medium sweet tea is 920 calories?

Did you know that a traditional meal of meatloaf, homemade mashed potatoes with gravy, and corn is roughly 818 calories?

It is extremely easy to eat 1000 in just one sitting.

I have been doing well with keeping track of what I am eating and staying right at 1,000 a day.  They say to lose at least 1pound a week, you should eat 1500 calories.

It has been several days since I have been on my 1000 calorie a day diet...I got nothin. 
Except being hungry.

yay dieting.

Grocery Shopping

My cart of groceries was significantly different from a couple of weeks ago to now.

This week I filled my cart with fresh fruits and vegetables, fat free dressings, fat free yogurts and cottage cheese, and as a treat 100 calorie pack of CHOCOLATE COOKIES. 

I hope by leaving the horribly bad for you delicious stuff at the store, I will be forced to make good choices.   Because according to the calorie counter, if you want to lose at least 1 pound a week you need to consume under 1500 calories.    Which by the way, is incredibly difficult to do.

SO, by keeping most candy, snacky foods, and things that requiring deep frying out of the house I might be able to strive for my goal.  15 pounds by September.  

At least. 
More would be acceptable.

Going Going Gone

In an attempt to stay on top of my calorie intake today I have been vigilant in keeping track of what I have eaten.

In a perfect world we eat what we want and don't pour over the numbers of what we eat.

In the blink of an eye, you can use half your days calories without realizing it. 
...and without feeling even remotely full.

1 yogurt, 3 tablespoons of peanut butter, and a cheese and crackers snack later and I have already consumed 600 calories.

Did I mention it is only 9:45am?

http://www.everydayhealth.com/food-fitness/journal#/1#/5

Truth

Wanna know the truth?  
I went wedding shopping today.

Wanna know the truth?
I ate out TWICE today.

Wanna know the truth?
I have no intentions on going to work out today, but have every intention on eating a salad for dinner.

Wanna know the truth?
I want to look good in wedding pictures and in my dress so bad, that I am stressed out a little.  When I am stressed I want to eat.  When I eat I get stressed that I won't lose weight, and if I won't lose weight that will make me sad which will make me want to eat.  AHHHH!!!!!

The truth is, life is stressful and food is my socially accepted blankie. 
I need a replacement blankie.

Motivation

Here is my newest motivation. 
Here is my reason for losing the chins, the wings, and the rolls.  (*That almost sounded like a food menu...)
Here is my daily reminder that I have a goal within reach.
Here is my shiny new attitude about shedding pounds.

Chose with your brain, not your stomach

Don't you hate it when you order something at a restaurant or fast food place and as soon as your order has been taken something much better catches your eye?

That happened last night at Taco Bell. 

Greasy,  "Ground Beefy", cheesy taco bell.  YUM!

I ordered: 1, 5 layer Burrito (WHICH WAS DELICIOUS) and 1, $.99 Nachos. 

My order was taken from the dollar menu.  I honestly didn't even look at all of the other choices on the board.  I was going for cheap.  I was feeling good about spending only $2.08 when my savings high, turned to a calorie low.  I noticed that sitting RIGHT BESIDE the register was Taco Bell's Fresco options. 

The "Fresco" menu, which they are now calling the "Drive-Thru Diet" menu, looks like it is a really good alternative for people who want the deliciousness of Taco Bell without all the calories.  Lets break it down with a chart.

Drive-Thru Diet® Menu                          

Fresco Bean Burrito- Calories:  350  Calories from Fat:  70 2.5

 Fresco Burrito Supreme®Chicken –Calories:  350  Calories from Fat:  70 Grams of Fat:2.5

Fresco Burrito Supreme® Steak– Calories:  340  Calories from Fat:  80  Grams of Fat:  2.5

Fresco Chicken Soft Taco- Calories:  150 Calories from Fat: 30  Grams of Fat:  3.5

Fresco Crunchy Taco- Calories: 150   Calories from Fat:70   Grams of Fat:2.5

Fresco Grilled Steak Soft Taco- Calories:  150  Calories from Fat:  35   Grams of Fat: 1.5

Fresco Soft Taco- Calories: 180   Calories from Fat: 60   Grams of Fat:  2.5

THIS is what I had
(....which basically sums up the entire point of today's words.  CHOOSE WISELY, not quickly and or cheaply.)

Beefy 5-Layer Burrito	: Calories:	540	Fat Calories: 190	Grams of Saturated Fat						8

Satisfied Regret

Immediately after eating the very large slice of pizza roll yesterday morning, I felt nothing but satisfied regret.

It was delicious...don't get me wrong.

however, I knew that was the wrong choice and I honestly felt bad about it.
...and that's a new experience for me.  Feeling true guilt for eating something instead of secret euphoria.

After my little breakfast incident, I went to the gym.  I was on the treadmill for 40 minutes and the bike for 10.  I went four miles total, and wanted to throw up a little when I was done.
(*I was REALLY regretting the pizza at that point in my day).

I was extremely aware of my earlier decision all day. Each time I would find myself opening a cabinet or milling through the fridge, I would stop and think about how I could have quite possibly thrown my entire days worth of calories away all before 7am.

The good news I learned from my choice, and hopefully I can continue to keep that conscious spirit with me as I head into today.

Wednesday: 189.2
Thursday: 188.5

Temptation

TEMPTATION
–noun

1.  enticement or allurement.

2.  the state of being lured, especially to evil.

My temptation this morning is the leftover Pizza Roll in the fridge.  It has hamburger, pepperoni, mushrooms, olives, peppers, onions, sauce, cheese, and a delicious crescent roll crust.   Did I mention garlic butter brushed on the outside?!

There is exactly 1 piece left in some rubbermaid tupperware sitting on the top shelf.

...next to the fresh fruit....right above the yogurt. 

---you know, the things I should want to eat. 

I can't seem to move past the smell that has been left behind in the kitchen.  The overwhelming yet subtle smell of garlic and sauce is almost too much for me to bear.  How does one eat a pineapple yogurt with cantelope when there is something so enticing, alluring, and quite frankly EVIL lurking about?

I could just throw it down the disposal.  I could throw it in the trash.  I could feed it to the dog.

...but think about all those starving children...

It just wouldn't be right to let something like that go to waste.  

So I guess it's settled.  I must eat it. 

You know...for the children. 

Today's weight: 189.2 

Pictures say a thousand words

 This is me when I was 7-9 years old.  You can see my round face and double chin.  I have always been a little bigger than I should be.

 This is me my Sophomore year in College.  I was walking EVERYWHERE I needed to go.  Literally walked miles a day and ate salads 2x a day every day (*because most of the dining hall food was inedible.)

 Believe it or not, this is me.  This is me at my smallest.  When I see this picture, I have a hard time seeing myself in this girl.

 This is after my first year of teaching.  I had been going to the gym a lot, and overall felt pretty good about myself.

 This is from the Fall.  I look pregnant.

This is from this winter.  My chins got out of control.   My eyes don't even look healthy.

This past spring I got a handle on my chins.  These pictures keep me grounded.  I know not to become too comfortable and just settle for what my body has become. 

Monday weight: 192.4
Tuesday weight: 189.8

FED up

I am all fed up. 

literally and physically.

Today I reclaim my space at the gym.

...take that fat!

Sunday weight; 190.2
Monday weight: 192.4
scales don't lie.

2 steps forward, 3 steps back

lost two pounds, gained 3 back.

One may ask..."how is this possible?  how does one manage such a regressive slide when they are intentionally watching what they eat?"

Well to answer the questions above, I apparently was just watching the food as I was eating it.


You see, you can easily throw away a whole day of good choices when you indulge in perhaps a corn dog, or a piece of coconut cream pie, or maybe a tater tot or two (or 6).  Even if all you had that day was a salad and a string cheese.

It also doesn't matter how many hours of kayak rowing you put in.  If you eat 2 pieces of bbq grilled chicken and your weights worth in homemade cream cheese cherry danish, you will not see progress.



So here I am.  3 pounds heavier with nothing to show for it except for sore shoulders and tight pants.


....awesome.



Weight Friday: 187.6
Weight Sunday: 190.2

Dieting is a Battlefield

www.findyourbodytype.com

So this website basically wants to sell you a dieting plan, BUT you can get some really good information about what body type you have.  You enter in some information about sleep habits, cravings, height, weight, and such then it will give you a body type your information most closely relates to.  Mine was right on target.

You Are An Adrenal Body Type

When your body can’t handle stress, it creates an increase of the hormone, cortisol. The purpose of Cortisol is to help you survive and handle stress.

Excess cortisol causes your body to produce fat. Why? Because "Fat", to the body, is potential energy. Body fat is stored by your body as energy reserves.

Your body works in this cycle: the more stress the more cortisol, the more cortisol the more energy reserves. This results in more and more fat storage. 

You have the most challenging body type because of this imbalance.

Whether you realize it or not, you are in a constant state of stress. You are very active mentally, always thinking and solving problems. You can’t stop thinking.

You have dark circles under your eyes. You crave chocolate, energy drinks and salt; which is a sign of your blood sugar issues. You may find yourself eating six times a day just to stabilize your sugar levels.

The Three Stages of The Adrenal Body Type

You will start to see the various stages your body will go through. As your body type stages progress, you will develop a sagging stomach. Your face becomes round, you develop a double chin, and start storing fat in other places like the back. You have inflammation and swollen ankles or hands and get stiffness and pain in your the hamstrings.
By Stage 3, your muscle proteins begin to break down in your legs, which causes them to have tremendous difficulty climbing stairs. As an Adrenal Body Type person's stages continue to progress, they feel overwhelmed. Arthritis and pains in the heel of the foot and lower back become chronic.
Ironically, following a low calorie diet with strenuous exercise makes the Adrenal Body Type worse. You are adding MORE stress into an already stressed-out body. Adrenal body types often develop an addiction to stimulants, like energy drinks and caffeine. These are triggers for more fat storage.

SO, I took this information from the body type quiz and researched further into what foods would stabilize my blood sugar and help boost my metabolism without stressing my body out.  Here's what I found:

A-Types are stocky, with “tucked” rear ends and potbellies without pronounced waists. Type-As crave meat and salty foods, which over-stimulate their adrenal glands. The Body Type Diet for As emphasizes  carbohydrates, light dairy products, vegetables, and caffeine (if desired). By eating like this, they stimulate their thyroid glands and bring their hormones into balance, leading to a “lighter, more flexible metabolism.” A light breakfast and lunch with more calories in the evening meal is their ideal schedule.



Knowledge is power.  I feel powerful today knowing that there is an honest, god given reason why I am fat and always have had issues with my weight.  I can take what I know to help me battle the bulge.   


...because every day dieting is a battlefield.

 

 

 

Yesterday weigh in: 189.9
Today weigh in: 187.6