a new challenge

I have been proud to have lost the little bit of weight I have.
I have been prouder to maintain that loss.

I have integrated high fiber foods into my diet.
I use only olive oil. 
I typically eat the recommended serving amount of vegetables/fruits.

So this year when I had my blood tests done for insurance purposes at work, I was pretty confident that my results would show some positive changes.

ONE result came back better.  I had dropped my triglyceride level by 100 points from last time!
However, my blood sugar was 103 (not terrible, but something to watch) and my cholesterol...well let's just say it wasn't awesome.

After a doctor's appt yesterday, I was reminded about my results.  Apparently, for a 28 year old my cholesterol is pretty bad.  And yes...those were his words.  "Wow...that's pretty bad".

SO I have been given three months to lower this cholesterol.  I guess I have a lot of research to be doing to see what foods will help lower (although I thought high fiber/whole grains were supposed to help) the overall cholesterol so that I don't have to start taking medication for it.

I would rather not be on a ton of medications, but he is almost certain at this point because of my age and weight loss that if that number stays the same or gets higher I can thank my family genetics.

This all comes at a time when I was already thinking about the struggles I would face at Thanksgiving and Christmas.  NOW I have to try even more.

It will all work out. 
Just something new to face head on and conquer.

Leveled off in time for the Holiday season

I have leveled off at 174.  That's my average anyway.

I have maintained---which is AWESOME!

Whenever I have "dieted" before the weight came back on in the blink of an eye.  Not this time (thank God!)

With fall weather changing and delicious holidays on the way I am nervous about the willpower to control portions.  You can eat ANYTHING as long as you portion correctly and balance your diet appropriately.

I'm worried that with Halloween I will try to say that Twizzlers are fruit, Snickers have protein!

And at Thanksgiving, am I really going to argue when my sweet potatoes are covered in marshmallows and sugar?

Will I refuse a sweet gift of Christmas fudge?
No.  That's just rude.


Oh the Holidays are my favorite time of year.
but it is also my nemesis.

I love traditions.
but I am not a fan of the tradition I have with gaining massive amounts of pounds every holiday season.

two little pieces of toast

it may seem silly, but I eat 2 pieces of high fiber toast with butter and cinnamon/sugar on top EVERY morning before work.

oddly, those two tiny pieces of dried up bread carry me through my morning til lunch.  today, I am not getting my toast because I am having a fasting blood draw done at 7:45 am. 

I just don't know if I will make it.

I am on edge.  I am shaky.
I am a HUNGRY GIRL WHO NEEDS HER TOAST.

just two little pieces of toast.  I mean really, is that too much to ask?

You can't toast toast then eat it later, either.
You have to eat it warm.
ESPECIALLY with the butter and sugar.

wow, who knew that something so insignificant could throw off an entire start to a day.
two silly pieces of bread.
a little butter.
delicious cinnamon.

Just breathe and move on.
Just breathe and focus.
Just breathe.

It's just toast.

....maybe I can bring my toaster to work with me?!?! :)

Holding strong

176 is my new normal.

I appreciate it.
I am confused by it.
I am starting to "feel it"

Once you lose weight, at first you are just impressed at how your clothes begin to fit you. Your pants are typically the most accurate measure of how much weight/inches you have lost.

Some are just right.
Some turn into "pull ups", you know, when you have to pull up your pants after after third step.
Some are sooooo close to fitting but you're just not quite there yet (*but you still try them on at least once a week JUST in case something has changed).
And then there are some pants that remind you that although you have made progress, they still pinch around your middle by the end of the day.

I wore a pair of shorts this week that reminded me that although I can be proud that I have lost 20 pounds since January, I haven't completely lost everything I need.  I looked at those love handles as a reminder that even though I am not "dieting" just eating real food with good portion sizes, perhaps I can throw in a few more vegetables, salads, or fruit.  What can it hurt? 

I want to try putting fruit on the table at dinner time.
I want to make 3 vegetables with the main dish instead of just one or two.
I want to make homemade applebutter....but that's a different story.

This is do-able.
This is real eating.
Real Life.
Slowly but surely.

holy cow!!!

Yeah...thats my number today. Some would still be horrified to see this bright red number flashing back at you. I am ecstatic. This is 3 pounds down since last week.

Hot dog!!!

I will take it. :)

Back to school (and I have been bad...)

Since going back into my classroom just two short weeks ago, my husband and I have eaten more fast food for dinner than we have allll summer. 

CONFESSION: 
I have had pizza, chicken nuggets, fries, a quarter pounder WITH cheese, a red robin turkey burger with steak fries, Mongolian with noodles, doritos, ice cream cones (yes, plural), cake....
well I mean I didn't eat this all in one day but you get the picture. I have been bad. 

CELEBRATION!!!!
I still weigh in at 179!!!  I don't really understand the science behind this phenomenon but WOO-HOO! 

I think I would like to credit my awesome breakfast routine (fiber toast, egg whites, canadian bacon) in the morning and the consumption of a yogurt each day.  I have been monitoring my breakfast and lunch more carefully because I was preparing myself for these "off limits" dinners. I also heard on Dr. OZ one day that when you take Vitamin D and Calcium supplements together OR eat one container of yogurt (it has vitamin D and calcium!) you create a natural fat burner.  Maybe, just maybe that has been helping.  AND maybe some credit to that big salad I have with my burgers and pizza instead of fries and garlic bread.

Whatever it may be, I have not been going totally crazy with the crappy food, but I can fully appreciate the balance of what I am doing.

...even though I probably could be moving a little bit more.

choices

I have officially hit the 179 marker. 
Still big, but still proud =)

I am more proud of the fact that I have overcome my old ways when facing adversity.  This week I have: gone back to my classroom to work, sat through an overwhelming workshop, and I had a "lady appt" at the dr (you know what I'm talking about....yeah...that.) and by the time I got out of there on Thursday, I was about at my limit of anxiety for the week. After the appt, I went to Walmart to kill some time before having lunch with my husband.  Do you know what items do they sell at Walmart?

CHIPS.
CHOCOLATE.
DIET COKE.

I reached for it all, but put it all back.
now, for most of you that's not a big deal.

If it's not a big deal for you then you do not use food as an emotional blankie, so to speak.
If you do think it's a big deal then you will understand that I just overcame my worst and oldest habit of reaching for food to comfort and console my anxiety/stress.  (*I reached for that clearance rack dress instead! Just FYI, I have a really nice closet after this summer!)

If I would have caved and ate that bag of chips or candy bar, I would have successfully opened the flood gates to commence using the "eating crutch" whenever I felt that way.  I would have eaten the "treat" quickly and secretly.  I would have then berated myself for doing it there by starting the frenzy that would have spiraled out of control.  One bag of chips and any work I have done this summer would have been completely shot out of the water.

and you may think I am overreacting, but I am not.
just one little bag.
just one little candy bar.
just one little choice.

 It's never just one little choice.  Every choice is a big choice.
you just don't realize it at the time. 

no news is good news

Usually in my case, when I have no news it's because I am ashamed of my choices. :)  I won't blog if I've been bad.  Silly, but I guess if I don't say it out loud, it's not a problem.

HOWEVER, no news has been good news! I have been maintaining a steady level of weight.  Not lost anything more, but just staying between 180-182.  Which consistency is huge for me! I am just enjoying that. 

Since July hit things have just been busy. We went on our outdoor adventure vacation.  Hiking and climbing and traveling.  It was a lot of fun.  I was so proud of us for choosing to spend our week together being active and eating healthy snacks/dinners (except when my husband at White Castle! YUCK!)

After vacation week, my friend came into town.  We did lots of shopping and eating out and I was a good girl! Proud of myself and my will power. 

Last week, I took a road trip with my parents to see family in Tennessee.  I love my aunt dearly so please don't mistake me when I say this, but there really wasn't a chance to over eat at her house.  She weighs 5 pounds, and now I know why!

She eats like a mouse.
...and I eat like Templeton (you know...the fat rat from Charlotte's Web?). 

You couldn't help but eat less when you were around her. Which actually turned out to be extremely helpful! Didn't gain a single pound on that trip (even though gummy bears and chips were consumed in the car!!)

This week I have been preparing for school and enjoying my last few days of total freedom.  Come next week, I will be in full school mode.    The crock pot will become my best friend.  The luxurious breakfasts will come to a stop.  And I will struggle to exercise at 6am instead of 7.

SO...if you don't hear from me for a while, please call me out on it. 
because chances are...I am in hiding.

Scale Malfunctions

I usually weigh myself four times a day.  Sounds like a lot.  I know some people say only weigh yourself once a week or once a day,  but here's why I choose to step up four times a day:

#1: I weigh myself first thing in the morning, to see the "true" weight as some may say.  Theory is, after your first urination in the morning, that number is your TRUE weight.  I don't know if that is for sure, but I normally see a 1-2 pound difference from the night before.

#2: I weigh myself mid morning, because usually it's a pound or so lighter than my morning wake up weight.

#3: I weigh myself mid day, to see how I am doing with staying on track for the day. If I am already pigging out, the scale will show me in numbers.

#4: I weigh myself at night, to see how I ended the day to keep track of foods that may or may not have worked well for me. For example: maybe I ate a lot of sodium, I can numerically see the bloating on my body.

Now, something weird has been happening.  I have been weighing myself at night, and in the morning I have actually been weighing MORE.  Now keep in mind, I usually see a 1-2 pound "weight loss" over night.  Basically over night I finish metabolizing my food, sweat and move around like a wild cat.  So usually I see that I don't lose any additional weight on average, but I definitely am not use to GAINING weight.  I am slightly annoyed and curious.

Curious, because I am not sure what the trigger has been.
ANNOYED, because it's no fun to wake up in the morning and face that stupid scale.

I am not a fan of this new trend occurring and hope that it is just needing a new battery.
because surely it's nothing I am doing, right?

Oh well.

The next three days, my husband and I are getting our hike on.  We will be going to HaHa Tonka State Park today to hit the trails. Wednesday and Thursday, we will be heading to Elephant Rocks, Johnson's Shut ins Park, as well as Taum Sauk Mountain.  

Expect pictures of our conquest to be posted soon.
Have a great week!

You just don't see it

When you're living in the moment you just don't see how you really look.

In my high school/college years, I actually had major amounts of confidence issues because in my group of friends I was always "the chunky girl".  Somewhere along the line, I picked up enough confidence to believe I was adorable, and I went that route.  No sense in trying to put lipstick on a pig right?  I actively sought the "adorable" title instead of trying to win the "hot" or "beautiful" pageant. 

I look back now, and wish I could have really looked at myself for who I was.  Not comparing to who was 10 sizes smaller than me, because with my genetics and my body type I'm never going to be those girls.  Never.  I accept that now and just long to be healthy. 

That girl 8 years ago, was hot. 
...but I didn't see it.

She was thin and fit. 
...weighed 145, walked miles every day, and dancing every weekend.

She was vibrant and funny and happy and smart.
...Deans list every semester, graduated with honors.

So...Why didn't I see that then? 

It is a shame that we constantly berate ourselves trying to be someone else, when we just need to accept who we are.  You are YOU.  You can't change it.  You can't be sad about it.  You have to make the best of what you are given and see yourself for what you are.

...and by that I mean, you are whatever you WANT to be.
If you want to be HOT don't let yourself down by settling for "adorable". 
If you want to be adorable, hey! Rock that, too. 

Just don't sell yourself short, because life will pass you by then all you have to look back on is the missed opportunities to be a better you.

Yum

 

Microwave Omelet Taco

2 Egg Whites

Any chopped veggies

*Frozen chopped spinach, peppers, mushrooms, onions are my favorites.

1 slice of Fat Free Turkey

1 Small Corn Tortilla

1 slice Fat Free Cheese

Salsa

Olive Oil Cooking Spray

Spray a glass bowl with cooking spray (I use cereal bowls) and scramble the two egg whites in the bowl. Make sure you scramble the eggs really well or they will BLOW up out of the bowl.  

Add your chopped veggies and chopped Turkey, scramble with the eggs.  

Place in the microwave for 1 minute (if any egg liquid is left add an extra 30 seconds).  

Meanwhile, spray a small skillet with the cooking spray and heat the tortilla until desired texture. 

Slide egg omelet from the bowl onto the tortilla, add cheese and salsa. Fold and eat.

BOOM.  It takes maybe 5 minutes total to get everything out, mixed up, heated up, and put together.  This keeps me full from breakfast to lunch.  And trust me, that's a tricky thing to accomplish :)

Apple Body Jeans, Boots with the Fur

Slowly, but surely. 
Slowly, but surely.

I have been super enthusiastic about staying on track, and not sweating the small stuff (like having mcd's for dinner last night!)  I took a note from Dr. Oz.  I watched his show about body types and what they have to do with how you metabolize your food.  It was very interesting to see why I fail so often when I try so hard.

Apple Body Type
What does an apple look like? Apples have a tendency to put on belly fat, may have round faces, have humps on their upper backs and may have thin legs. (**This is SOOOO me**)
According to Dr. Morrison, traditional methods of weight loss like cutting calories and aggressive exercise routines do not work for this body type. Why? A low-calorie diet and too much exercise translate as starvation and stress to this body type, which can increase the production of cortisol, the stress hormone. Increased amounts of cortisol can slow metabolism and is known to contribute to belly fat and an increased waist size. Cortisol also floods the body with sugar. When your body does not use it for energy, it gets stored as fat. Belly fat is especially dangerous because it surrounds so many of your vital organs. Apples may also suffer a lot of inflammation or pain, particularly in the joints, back or neck. They are also at greater risk for high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes and breast cancer.
http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/better-metabolism-your-body-type

Since hearing those words, I have drastically changed my attitude towards my "diet".   
Because I can't diet.
I can't work out for an hour at a time. 

It leaves me hungry, grumpy, and stressed about why I am not making more progress.  This also means I don't count weight watchers "points" any more either.  Keeping track of numbers and math stressed me out as well. 

The more I stress, the more I pack on the pounds.
(this also explains why I gain back weight during the school year!)

This may explain why I have been able to slowly shed one pound at a time.  I feel more at ease and unpressurized to lose dramatic amounts of weight when I "diet" and exercise.

Check out the Dr. Oz link above and see your body type and what might work best for you.

a bright yellow ball

This is actually much more relaxing than it looks.  If you are struggling with lower back pain (*or even the lady cramps), this pose is mucho beneficial to relieving some of that pain.  You stay in this position for 5-10 minutes and just breathe.  Your thighs will be slightly sore from being stretched, but you will feel relief in those key areas.
I have participated in some light yoga this week(*this pose has been a go to) and I used my brand new, bright yellow, stability ball yesterday. 

Now, I know my dear husband thought I was crazy as I was sitting on the couch blowing up this ginormous ball with a hand operated pump. Mind you, I was blowing it up at 9pm.  But I wanted it to be ready for me yesterday morning.  I read an article about how to become a morning workout  person.  One of the tips was to mentally prepare yourself for what you wanted to do the next day.  Make a plan so you don't have to just "figure it out".  Because if you do that, you won't ever "figure it out".

Been there. 
Tried that. 

So Tuesday night, I blew up that beast and remembered I had this pinned up for just this very occasion:

 

Now, most of these are easy for beginners.  I did find myself struggling with #2 and #5.  So I also used the exercise chart that actually came with the ball.  I decided to do these exercises during the commercial breaks while watching the view.  I must say...I was a tad bit sore today.  

On an unrelated note, I had a quiet victory last night.  We went out for dinner---MEXICAN.  Where the chips are delicious and everything is covered in cheese.  I did devour the chips.  OOPS! But I wasn't even half way through my delicious chicken with peppers/onions/mushrooms when I WAS FULL.  I was literally in pain.  Couldn't eat another bite kind of full.  At first I was disappointed, because it was delicious and I wanted to eat it! Then I realized what that meant: I have begun to shrink that stomach where I don't need to eat as much at one time!  WOO-HOO!  A few months back, I could have licked that plate clean then gone out for ice cream.  I was pretty proud of me. 

...it's the little things in life.

Yoga--how hard can it be?

Last night I got seemingly bored, so instead of going to the fridge (*because that is totally where I was headed!)  I decided to try one of the yoga workouts I found on pinterest.  I had just gone to the chiropractor this afternoon for a routine crack-up and felt like I needed to stretch out.  So I tried this video:

The workout is only 10 minutes long.  So I figured I could keep up for that long.  Because I mean really, how hard can yoga be right? Stand here, squat there, breathe.

Yeah, I was kind of wrong. 

I'm not saying I was panting like a do or sweating puddles, but I was surprised at just how un-agile I actually am. At certain points I was actually glad she would say "inhale/exhale" because quite frankly, I was forgetting to breathe at all.  I was a little busy trying not to fall over.

Overall: I was sore in my legs by the time it was done.  My arms are sore today.  I felt like my body was stretched and I slept well last night.  I would rate this video as a success and will be adding it into my list of things I can do.

You should try it too. It's only 10 minutes, right?
For any more workout ideas or suggestions follow me on pinterest:  Dieting Drama Queen Inspirations
I only pin things that look like something a lazy girl might be interested in doing.  So if you're looking for something hardcore, you might need to browse someone else's boards. 

Waking up and feeling good :)

Today I was able to wake up and feel good. 
(It was a nice change from the bloated mess I have been lately.) 

I mean, have you ever just felt thinner? 
Like, your shorts are just loose enough, your shirt hugs the right way.  It was so nice that I actually felt excited to get on the scale.  It was good to get a positive response.  181.8. 

That's only a few ounces less than my last post about the numbers, but see...I may or may not have neglected to post about the weight GAIN I had recently participated in.  I teetered in the 184 range for a few days, so to be tracking and eating and losing is absolutely wonderful.

Now I am not delusional enough to think that I am not just one yogurt away from 182.
I get that.

However, getting to feel like I was able to get over that silly little bump in the road is a good way to start the day. Speaking of today, there is only 1 day of summer school left; and as of this morning I couldn't be more excited!  I can't wait to begin doing my early morning routine.

I also can't wait to begin cooking more.  In the summer I look forward to trying new recipes, and making things from scratch.  I really want to make homemade ketchup this summer, continue making my own salad dressings, and continue making delicious desserts from that wonderful book.  (*We had frozen peach cobbler squares last night and they were DELICIOUS)

I'm happy to be happy.
I'm happy to have something to look forward to.
I'm happy I to have the life I have to live.

Two Recipes and a RANT

Let's start with the RANT just so I can get this bad boy off my chest.

I have hit a wall.  The weight loss has come to a stand still, and daily I fight the number to come back down to 182 and stay there.  Each day is a different number varying from 182 up to 184.  STUPID.  It's just stupid.  Better choices should be made.  I'll work on that.

This is the last week of summer school, so I am excited to begin any type of "exercise" next week.  Beginning any type of regimen before school was out didn't seem like a killer idea to me (sounds like a great excuse, I know).  Seeing as how I am already exhausted, I decided to save any additional exhaustion and inability to move for a day when I don't have to keep up with tiny people who have way more energy than I do.

Okay.  That's out of the way now.  SO, here are two recipes.

HEALTHY Ranch Dressing

What you need?

1 container of greek yogurt

1/2 cup milk (or more depending on how think or runny you like)

1-2 Tbsp Ranch seasoning mix (or to taste)

Dump all the ingredients into the container you have chosen to keep your dressing in.  I found this water bottle at walmart and it's perfect for pouring with it's smaller opening at the top.

Shake it all up til you can see that all the yogurt has nicely blended with the milk (check for consistency and add more milk if too solid)

Refrigerate at least 1 hour before using to give it time to set up.


Boston Cream Pie Cupcakes
1 cupcake: 117 calories, 2.5g of fat, 22g carbs, 12 sugars, 2g protein, 0 fiber
What you need?
Cupcakes
1 3/4 cup Yellow Cake Mix
4 egg Whites
1/2 cup water
12 cup cake liners
 Pudding mixture
1 sugar free vanilla Pudding Pack
1/4 tsp vanilla
Frosting
3 Tbsp Chocolate Frostin
1 Tbsp Light Chocolate Syrup

Preheat Oven 350*
Wisk cupcake ingredients together, pour into cupcake liners.  Bake for 16-18 minutes

Mix together the frosting and syrup and place.  Refrigerate.
Mix together pudding ingredients.  Put into a zip lock bag, refrigerate.

After the cupcakes cool (at least 25 minutes), take a knife and make a small cut into each cupcake.  Use your ziplock pudding bag (cut one corner) and squeeze pudding mixture into cupcake.  There WILL be enough for all 12 cupcakes.  Put frosting onto cupcakes (there WILL be enough, I promise!)

***Recipe courtesy of Hungry Girl, 200 Desserts Under 200

Not Your Mom's Tuna Salad

What you will need:::

1 can Tuna (in Water)
1 tbsp Mayo w/ Olive Oil (or Fat Free Italian Dressing)
As many vegetables as you like!
Salt and Pepper to Taste
1 large cucumber








Drain Tuna.

Chop vegetables up thin--Do NOT chop and add cucumber.  I added tomatoes, carrots, celery, and onions.

Mix Together and add salt/pepper and mayo.

Your tuna salad should look colorful and delicious.  It will be crunchy and a little bit creamy.

NEXT, cut your cucumber length ways and scoop out the seeds.
Don't be wasteful! Either add the scooped out middle to your tuna or eat it straight from the cutting board :)


Scoop your tuna salad into your cucumber boats.

Eat and enjoy!

holding steady

So far I have been holding steady at the 182 mark.  I haven't particularly gone hardcore yet with stricter calorie guidelines at meals and snacks; but I have made solid effort to make good choices.  Clearly that's paying off (since I am officially keeping that weight off and not gaining back), but continued progress would be nice.

However, I can see my "fitness" journey beginning sometime in the next couple of weeks if my "kitchen" results are going to continue to just hold at the same number.  Pinterest has been my BFF as far as getting me motivated and educated on the types of workouts I would like to begin. 

I am considering dabbling in yoga.  There are tons of videos on youtube I can stream through my Wii console to follow along with. I tried yoga back in college, but perhaps I just wasn't in the right mindset for it.

 I am also interested in focusing on a few target areas of my body:
*my jiggle flab arms (seriously, you should see these things flap in action!)
*my extreme back fat area, not being harsh on myself just being real.
*my Buddha belly
*and strengthen my lower back area as I have some issues from time to time that force me to see a chiropractor.

I am more content with knowing that I have to begin some type of "workout" because I am able to click on my board and see a variety of things I can do that are quick, easy, and affordable (aka FREE because I have only pinned things that I can do from home with little to no equipment).  

And I feel as long as I am content, I won't dread it. 
IF I don't dread it, I won't stress about it.
and if I don't stress about it the whole world will be a much happier place.

"Skinny" Chicken Fried Rice

We had this for dinner last night.  You might not see it all, but it was full of vegetables!  I was able to eat my whole helping of it, without a single pound gained this morning.  There are versions out there that might help you out with "light" soy sauce, but I didn't have that so I used the regular soy sauce, and even added in some oyster sauce (*which turns out has been THE missing ingredient that I have needed to make good chinese food!)
6 COOKED cups BROWN rice (*the key to good fried rice is to have COOLED rice to mix in later)
2 Chicken Breasts--shredded(*I cooked mine in the crock pot!)
2 Tablespoons Soy Sauce
2 Tablespoons Oyster Sauce
**Mix the chicken and sauce ingredients together and set aside while you chop the other ingredients.
1/2 cup white oninon
1/4 green onion
3 garlic cloves
1 cup chopped celery
1 cup fresh mushrooms
1 cup chopped carrots
1 cup frozen peas
**Spray your pan.  Cook the vegetables and garlic together until the onions become translucent Stir constantly because garlic can burn very easily. Add in the chicken and 1/4 teaspoon of Crushed Red Pepper Flakes (optional, but we liked it!).  Push ingredients to the side and spray pan.  Scramble two eggs (*or egg whites) and mix through the chicken and vegetables.  Add in your rice and splash with more soy sauce to taste.

 My Chicken Fried Rice may have been close to this nutritional value.  The only thing that differed in the two recipes was the use of "light soy sauce".  So I probably had WAY more sodium due to not having a low sodium soy sauce and using some oyster sauce as well.
Servings: 6 – Amount Per Serving (approx. 2 cups per serving): Calories: 385; Total Fat: 11g; Total Carbs: 53g; Dietary Fiber: 3g; Protein: 17g; Sugar: 1
WW Points Plus: 10

 Nutritional Information Provided by http://skinnymom.com/2013/03/01/skinny-chicken-fried-rice/

Morning weigh in

And the morning total is:::::: 182.4

It hasn't been a pleasant experience to get to that number (i.e. stomach on the fritz)
...but beggars can't be choosers.  I will take the victory however I can get it.

That is exactly 10 pounds down since March.

Funny thing about March; you see I went to the doctor in March complaining of exhaustion and extreme fatigue.  I was too tired to cook, could care less about cleaning, and my whole body was just sore and tired.

His answer???  "You are a bit overweight."
my reply: "but I have been overweight almost my whole life, it's not like my body is having to adjust to the weight, it knows how to deal by now"

His answer??? "Well...you are getting OLDER."
My reply to myself::: "SUPER! Now I am not only fat, I am old.  At 28, I am OLD and FAT."

His suggestion was:
to work out for one hour, five days a week.
Cut out ALL sugar and carbs.
lose at least 10 pounds
He was confident that I would be feeling MUCH better.

yeah....about that...I still eat sugar and carbs.  I don't work out.  But I have lost that 10 pounds.
and guess what? I'm still fat and "old"

Imagine that :)

Today's confessional

Well, I have to admit this last week has been a neat little roller coaster.

This time last week, I was headed on a two day vacation to Memphis, TN with my husband and parents to see Graceland (for my momma) and head to the Memphis Zoo ( I LOVE ZOO's!).  And of course, when one visits Memphis, you have to eat some BBQ!

We visited one of Food Network's Top Ten places to eat BBQ in the nation!  I decided to go for their famous Pulled Pork Sandwich (that is topped with sauce and Coleslaw) with a side of potato salad.  I also ordered (*and attempted to share) a BBQ Bologna Sandwich.  The BBQ Bologna was featured on the show as one of their unique specialties.  It was definitely delicious. 


In my defense we did TONS of walking.  Barely sat down most of the time we were there! Between touring the museums of Graceland to walking around the zoo, I would say that we did a solid 5 miles of walking. 

On the way home, the tiredness of the trip started to settle in and so did the munchies.  Lucky for me I attempted to pack as healthy of snacks as possible.  Almonds, pumpkin seeds, beef jerky, 90 calorie granola bars...between my binge snacking and some other womanly "bloating" reasons, the scale shot up to 190 by Sunday night.  On Saturday morning, I was weighing in at 183.8.  BIG DISAPPOINTMENT.

So this week, I have been fighting back in the kitchen (*along with fighting a strange stomach virus).
Long story short....

TA-DA!

Not too shabby to drop 7 pounds of blah in a week. :)

Note to self:::

When making your "healthy" breakfast, be mindful of the area you will be eating in.

DO NOT make peanut butter whole wheat toast with a drizzle of honey when you will be eating in front of your laptop in the living room.

The crumbs are EVERY WHERE.  And the honey?  That's on the keyboard, the chair, the table, my shirt, my arms, the BOTTOM of the computer...
And I put on less than a teaspoon over BOTH pieces.

Who knew you could make such a mess with two little pieces of toast?


...note taken.

Morning weigh in: 184.2

If you do the math correctly, that's a pound down from yesterday.

No really, no need for applause.
Just the satisfaction of total personal success will be enough.

Seriously though, I would like to admit at this time that I have been that lazy girl who has not actually exercised yet.  However, I am following a different motto right now that seems to be working.

I think it's an interesting "statistic" (that by the way could totally be made up by some crackpot sitting on their couch stuffing cheetos in their mouth) that most of the weight we can accumulate is not necessarily because of the sedentary lifestyle we live, but mostly because of just bad choices with the food we eat.

So far, this has been true for me.  Back in March I weighed in at 192.  Yeah, again.  I went there.  My bad.

But the ONLY thing I have done any differently has been changing what I eat.  Last summer I was all hardcore about making sure I worked out 3 times a week for an hour at a time.  Oddly enough, I had a hard time losing some of that weight.

Now I can't be sure why.  Maybe it was the "gain of muscle" because muscle weighs more than fat discussion.  Maybe I was so busy fretting about having to work out that I wasn't paying enough attention to the types of food I was eating?  I don't know.  Maybe I was just too overwhelmed by trying to do it all.

So, if you're interested in this new mantra, give it a try! I am personally seeing nice results (almost 10 pounds in two months) just from focusing solely on my kitchen instead of my Nikes. 

...and to answer your question in advance, YES, I do plan on integrating some "gym" into my shenanigans but that will come when my kitchen results start to plateau and I need an extra boost to get new results.

Inspiration and Humor

Reading something inspirational can validate your feelings as well as motivate you to start or continue with your project.  Weight loss is always my "Summer Project."

Reading something humorous keeps your attitude light and focused to really see and understand that you are not alone.  Plus, those ecards on pinterest are HILARIOUS!

I have a montage of Inspiration and Humor to kick start my day! Enjoy!

Good luck today!
Weigh in: 185.2

Super Secret Surprising Summer Weapons

These things are my (all together surprising) picks for the summer to help keep me on track.

First on my list is ALMONDS (and always COFFEE!).  Supposedly a "natural fat burner" these little crunchy delights are packed with protein and natural fats that are good for curbing your appetite.  I have been eating almonds for breakfast with a piece of fruit and surprisingly I stay full til about lunch time.

Secondly, I have some CHOCOLATE FIBER ONE cereal.  If you like cocoa puffs, you will like this cereal.  At 80 calories for 3/4 cup, I feel best served eating as a dry snack instead of a breakfast meal.  Also, with 9grams of fiber per serving it is a perfect fill you up kind of snack.

Third, I have stolen a trade secret from my parents! They discovered this bread called DIETERS DREAM.  The bread was good, but I found something even better!  BUNS! This brand of bread makes both hamburger buns and hotdog buns.  At only 80 Calories per bun with 0.5 grams of fat and 4 grams of fiber, these buns are unexpectedly delicious.  My husband even ate them and felt like they didn't taste like a "diet bun."  HELLO summer BBQ!

And last but not least on my list is the most surprising of them all is the SUGAR CONE.  1 cone is 60 calories, 1gram of fat, 0 Sodium, 1 gram of Protein, and only 11 carbs.  The posibilities are ENDLESS with these delicious cones.  One night this week I filled the cone part with fruit salad and topped it with 1/4 cup of ice cream.  I actually got the scoop on sugar cones from a Dr. Oz show by the author of Hungry Girl.  She has tons of recipes in this book that will no doubt become our dessert bible this summer.  It is expensive (the most I have ever paid for any book EVER) but I feel as though it will be worth it.

Change is in the air

Spring is FINALLY here. 
to stay.
...we think.

Gone are the days of bulky sweaters, and warm "comfort foods"!
HERE are the days of too short of shorts and an abundance of produce.

It was so nice out, my husband and I went for a mile walk last night.  We even took the dog!
By the time we got back home from the walk, my husband was already sore and I thought the dog was going to die from exhaustion.

...so we're ALL out of shape.
neat.

Looks like change is in the air for us ALL.

So if you wonder why we are tired and grouchy, it's because we are exhausted from getting off the couch and hungry.

very hungry.

Wheezing

So yesterday I was working a wedding (*photography on the side, you see) and this funny thing happened.  Every time I had to walk up a few sets of stairs...or run to the car or my bag for something...or walk from one side of the resort to the other...or stand up/squat down/stand up, I found myself completely winded and wheezing.  And I totally know that people could hear me struggling to breathe in and out because I am pretty sure a couple of people looked at me to see if they needed to assist me in any sort of way. They just had that "ARE YOU OKAY!?" look on their face.   ...I wonder what my face looked like?

Now, see it's the time of year that I could TOTALLY blame my allergies and say that in my whiniest voice that "I am just "SO CONGESTED."

....but the fact is that my little fat body simply struggled with that much physical effort.
which makes me sad.

I always think I am in much better shape than I actually am.  I convince myself that at work I do plenty of walking and standing and moving around with the kids.  CONFESSION #902---I am sedentary.  On those little scales of "How much physical activity do you participate in? Rate 0-3.  Zero being "0-30 minutes a week of physical activity." I would be a zero.
...which makes me sad.

I know how to fix it. 
I know what is right.
I know who to blame.
I know where to go.
I know when to start.
I know why I need to.

Now let me take this allergy pill so I can get started :)

Snow days: Good for the mind, bad for the body

Being a teacher, we get these glorious days once or twice a year.  These days are called SnowDays.

Elusive as snow days may be, when you get the opportunity to miss work WITHOUT having to be sick, it is a real treat.  You wake up, eat, and sit...a lot.  And I don't know about you, but when I am sitting I watch t.v. or read a book.  When doing these things usually I like to have a snack.  Luckily for me, I don't usually have all day long to sit and read or watch tv so I don't snack through the day.

...unless I have a snow day.  Then I sit and I eat.
and eat.
and eat.

No matter how hard I try to eat a salad and drink some water, the C's win it every time. What are the "C's" you may ask? 
The C's are:
*Cookies
*Cake
*Chips
*Crackers
*Carbonated Beverages

Sure there are some healthy "C's" like carrots, cauliflower, celery, cucumbers BUT see...we kind of don't have any of those in our house at the moment.  It's WINTER.  Those things aren't "in season," right?

I mean, who really wants to watch the newest episode of Pretty Little Liars and munch on  a stack of celery sticks?  That is not prime entertainment to me.

It should be.
But it's not.

So I guess what I am saying is, as happy as I am to get a snow day for my mental health, my physical health is screaming for SPRING and SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Snow Day to my fellow teachers!
(*Only 111 days til Summer Break! Not that I'm counting.)

Goal for the Week

Believe it or not, my goal for the week is not to accomplish any real "weight loss"

My goal this week is to cook at home all week.
yes.  it's just that simple.

I have been giving into the easy fix of fast food and restaurants way to easily for the last several weeks.

maybe it was the addiction of greasy deliciousness kept me going back?
maybe it was the convenience of not having to do any dishes?
maybe it was because I just didn't feel like cooking?



they say "you are what you eat"
Well then that would make me fried meats with a side of potato products.


I have three simple steps to getting this task done.
Step One.
Decide what to make. 
Step Two.
Cook vegetables that aren't deep fried.
Step Three.
Don't whine. 
Just get off your rump roast, and cook.

confession #718

yeah...i admit it. I ate that cookie at breakfast.

yeah...i admit it. I ate fried foods from restaraunts alllll week/month long.

yeah...i admit it.  I have not so much as gone for a walk in months.

yeah...i admit it.

at the time all these bad habits were transpiring did I even once own my choices? Absolutely not.

Now that i am ten pounds heavier, my confessions come a bit late.
better late than never?

i knowbetter.iknowbetter.iknowbetter.

now, what am i going to do about it?