a version of yesterdays blog today

Yesterday, my intentions were to keep it light hearted and discuss the cause effect relationship between hospitals and eating poorly; maybe even post the websites for nutrition information for some fast food places I frequent.  Then the keys got away from me and decided her story was way more important to talk about than my own. 

And that story is still is more important.
She is getting her ventilator removed today.  Really this is up to her at this point.  No one truly know what will happen or even what has happened to her since she has been in there.  I think she is still in there fighting.  We will find out today what is going to happen.  She has responded most to hearing about her grandkids (this is her grandkids and great niece at Culvers---I will get to that in a second).

Some of our family has been in a hotel for a week.  Some of our family has been stranded at home with no way of being there.  Some of our family are states away with only brief phone updates to suffice their need to be with her.  Some of us just travel back and forth as much as they can (the snow stopped me a couple of days).

Regardless of location, age, relationship to her; sister, brother, son, niece, or nephew, I am more than certain of one thing.  None of us are really taking care of ourselves the way we should.  And isn't that ironic?  We are worried and distraught because she is in this position because she doesn't take care of herself the way she should (*and believe me she does NOT take care of herself the way she should pretty much EVER) and yet here we are completely abandoning any sense of what we need to do for our own health.

We aren't sleeping enough or well enough.
We aren't eating the right way or enough.
We are stressed and anxious.
We are, at this point, not listening to our own complaints.
How does one fix that problem?  probably a lot more self control than I have. 

I know that at least 4 times since my husband and I have gone to visit, a proper meal has gone by the way side and fast food has been the replacement.  It was easy.  It was quick.  I am too tired and unfocused to care or deal with any real cooking. I am more than certain deep fried cheese is NOT healthy on any level. So yesterday I took my lunch with me.  Nothing fancy.  A sandwich, pretzels, an orange, and fruit snacks.

...I thought I was going to starve to death.
May that be the stress, the waiting, the dormancy of body I am not completely sure.  I do know that the behaviors we have all been engaging in are not right, but none of us can bring ourselves to fix it right now.

 I guess the main point of all this is:

If we are going to complain about how one doesn't take care of herself----we ALL need to take a long hard look in the mirror and decide---are we taking care of OURSELVES the right way either?