Friday, May 6, 2011

Mixed Emotions

I should be proud of the fact that I have lost 5 pounds in the past month.

I should be proud that I have in fact lost 10+ pounds (total) since February.  **I was weighing 196-198**

...so then why do I feel like I am failing so much now?

I can't seem to break past certain weights.  The stuff is just not wanting to come off as easily now, and to not see immediate progress is starting to wear me down.  I honestly say to myself, "Well I'm not losing any weight right now, so I might as well eat these chips."

Why can't I continue to revel in the success I have had, instead of rolling in the self-doubt and pity I have currently?  ...because I don't deal well with constructive criticism.

And right now, that is exactly what my body is doing.  It is giving me constructive criticism. 

By slowly abandoning my healthy choices my body is literally showing me the consequences for my actions.  It is saying, "Ok, you can eat that--I can't stop you.  But when you do, this is what will happen." 

As a self proclaimed drama queen I will admit:  I only do well when I feel supported and successful.  I do NOT do well with failure and criticism of any kind.  I shut down and retreat.

With that said, no one can turn this buggy around but me.  I need to keep my reasons for losing weight in sight, not the reasons I am failing.

1 comment:

  1. what are your reasons for losing weight? write it down, look at it often.
    and now that the weather is getting better, it will be easier to get outside and just move. floating on a raft is even a good workout when you float too far away and have to swim back! :D

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